Monday, January 24, 2011

the corporate ladder

Today is one of the day ..this thinking crossed my mind once again.
"There's no point climbing a corporate ladder"

The more i expose to outside world, the more i felt, this might be right.
With my human mind, i felt, there's no point working for other people's company.
I have seen many people, worked hard, climbed to the top and find out that the seat they are sitting is extremely HOT and the next moment, they are gone.

I used to fight with my immediate supervisor for my direct reports' benefits...
I used to fight so hard for something i want.
but today, i realized, REALITY sometimes just sets in.

It robbed away your dreams.
Robbed away your "fantasy" about how wonderful your job is.
Smashed you hard on the floor and woke you up.
Hey! What's up there???? It's not Satisfaction, It's not great Rewards, it's actually nothing!
No wonder solomon keep saying in the songs of solomon.........
"Meaningless, meaningless......"

Once again, i understood the sentence.

God has asked me to store up treasure in Heaven, the one which cannot be robbed away.
God has asked me to deny myself and carry the cross.......
God has asked me to open up my spiritual eyes to see the things He wants me to see.

Again and again, I knew i am still chasing things in this world.
And He let me.
What have i become???

I need His intervention.
I need to find my purpose on earth once again.
I need to realign back to the path He sets for me.
I need to pray for a brand new direction.
I need a revelation.

A new day in a brand new Hotel.
A new beginning.
A new assignment.

( i am obviously confused.)

Sunday, January 16, 2011

16days after 2011....and i am...

Well, i feel, i am LOST somehow.

Life seems to have NO meaning to me lately.
Weekday work.
Weekend spend time with bf, do wedding stuffs, sleep.
Constantly feeling tired, low energy, lazy.

"Life has no meaning" constantly cross my mind lately.
I feel somehow, bring a conclusion to my life now is not a bad idea at all.
wow, what happen to me???


A new Decade.
I need a change.
A change of thinking, a renew mind, a recharge energy level.
I need a goal.
I need a FOCUS point.

I feel like doing some MAJOR changes.
Change of Career.
Change of Direction in life.

Perhaps, i am TIRED of the preparation and pressures lately.
Let me PRAY and tell HIM.
He is always there. Amen.

Friday, January 07, 2011


sunway lagoon surfing beach at my back....... 1 day, i will be surfing there!

mmm...first time..

ate Geoduck for the first time.
mmm.. interesting sashimi.

Life after ....

I was writing my 2011 resolutions the other day.
And i realize, i could not imagine my life after mid April.

I can only think of Dec 2011, i wanna go NZ.
About work, i find myself stuck. So much so i love flying and traveling everywhere, up down mountain, can i still do that after April?

So much so i enjoy my SINGLE Life now, will there be a lot of RESTRICTIONS after April?
My parents gave me freedom of choices always, what about the other future parents-in-law?? Will they restrict me? Control me? trying to make things go their way?
What about my spouse, will he restrict me? Will he change? Will he be impatient??
Will he force me to have baby soon?? ....................

baby is cute.
But baby will means lost of freedom.
Baby is completely helpless and need our tender care.
Baby bring laughter but baby also bring depression.
oh boy.
So much so i love babiesssss, but........ i am just not ready to have my own. :(
And the Duties which come with it.....
the responsibilities .....

The fear of the unknown hits me once again.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Parting time

It's parting time...

Although i don really like this hotel ... may be due to the SAME OLD thing week by week...month by month.... But when our PM decided to change the hotel, i suddenly felt quite sad too.

Perhaps, it's due to the uncertainty which we are going to face.

I wanted to accumulate my points.
I wanted to maintain my status.
I wanted to stay walking distance to office.

vs now..what the future hotel will offer would be something like:
- New hotel
- Walking distance to shopping malls... ( mmm, good or bad?)
- no points... :(.. don't belong to the same chain. Not even sure which chain they are in. :( ( I am dropping them an email now....)
- not walking distance... :(


Tuesday, January 04, 2011

4 days after...

it's 4 days after new year.
4 Jan 2011.

They gave me a suite this time.
Huge bathroom with large bath tub, 1 living room, 48inches LCD, 1 guest toilet, 1 king size bed... + a ordinary television.. 32inches??
the large draw back!!! grrr....

I wanted to lie on my bed for huge TV..but the LCD is at living room. :(

Don't really know what to feel.
May be because i am too tired.
been waking up around 1130am over the past 1 weeks + (holiday)... and i woke up around 7am today....
tmr need to wake up around 630am.. :(

Oh boy.
I wanted to talk to someone but just could not think of any.
Well, as what my friend always like to say.."no one seems to understand at all".

Time to kick start the engine for 2011!!! :D googogoogogogoogogg...