A new direction? A new place to belong? Will it helps?

Wrote a letter out finally.. sharing my decision.....

And one of them called me ..schedule for a face to face section.......
my decision is out... I decided to go..........

I wonder how the face to face going to be?

It's great to leave a place when it's no longer beneficial and yet.. haunting you all the time, right?

Justification...............

I really start to wonder.. Where are all my close friends when i need them the most??? ...........

Trying hard on my own?

been trying hard on my own on forgetting someone...... ya, someone dearest to me once upon a time...

List down all the reasons y should i forget him? done that.....
but.. err..

Use my brain to think.......analyze.. ? Done that..
But...err.....

Human heart... craving for a longing... ah....

Dunno what to say.. But i really hope i ll recover soon.......
:( Pretty bad..

I wonder, why a child don think so much.? But adult's thinking are complicated?
Perhaps it's due to the many experiecens and hurts that we faced.. accumulating in our memory? that we have learn to be courteous... to beware before pouring out our hearts to anyone??... Hurts create fear... fear creates resistance. resistance stopped openess.... ah!

What is happening?...

Sometimes i really wonder.. Where is the passion that once you shared? The passion that you thought it will never fades....... disappointed....

I gotta focus on big picture...... Trying hard on my own once again?

Once the Trust has been broken..

I ve came to learn that...

Once a trust is broken between you and another person... It's hard to return to the original form anymore..

I also come to learn that..
We can forgive a person.. But to learn to trust that person once again.. It really need to take a lot of efforts and time.....

Perhaps, we need to really consider our action, before we even act it out?

Y am i in despair again and again???..............
..............

... I am weak....

ya.. i am weak..

many thing i have learned that it is out of my control...
my emotional swing..
my down time...
my past hurts come haunting me..
my future....
I felt hopeless..
I felt tiny...
It's all out of my control..

Stand up and fall down..
Up and fall..
Up and fall..........

I start to wonder... When will all these be over?

Don't ask...

hahaa... Today, i hang a teddy at my laptop bag..

wahahahhaa......

:D

Don't ask y............

Today i feel..

today.. i feel i am further n further from dating.... desperate?.. i think no..

The more i come to think seriously about "dating" and "marriage"...
The more burdened i felt.. Wah! Wat a heavy responsibility....

http://konkanicatholics.blogspot.com/2006/03/kuwait-roles-of-husband-and-wife-talk.html

This is a great site for knowing each other's roles......

wow.............
It really sounds to me that... though my responsibility is to help him to be someone God intend him to be... and his reponsbility is also helping me to become someone that God intend me to be...
I need to find someone that i can fullfilled my responsibility God assigned to me.....

wow.. Come to think of it........... It seems that...... no one really fits in already........ ~

Daniel 12:10

Finally, i finished the book of Daniel this morning.

And this scripture appear to me the most.

Daniel 12:10 Many will be purified, made spotless and refined, but the wicked will continue to be wicked. None of the wicked will understand, but those who are wise will understand.

mmm.. process of purification..........
mmm.. thressing floor like what Ruth gone through..
mmm......... I start to wonder... What is God trying to teach me?

:) My strength and My heart may failed, but God is the strength of my heart...

I really started to notice..whenever i am placed in a situation of no road to go anymore.. i can still look up and He will be found..... How wonderful it is. :)

mm.. Altering my course....

mm.. Perhaps sometimes, it's great to just alter your course and heading towards another direction when the route that you used to walk, is no longer beneficial to you?

Route A: You are down.. always hits by emotion swing... Always affect by something in the past.. though sometimes happy but yet, most of the time, you are struggling to let go of something...

Route B: Begin a new route.. everything is new.... though uncertain, but yet, you can move in future with hope and joy.....

mm? I start to wonder........ in the beginning to Route B............... Am i making the right choice?

mmm....

RM1200 won.....

This morning.... woke up.. macam tak dak tenaga.. done my sit up..30 times only.. wat??!!.... n carry some weights....

dooo.. doo.........it's FLY FM "wake up your brain" section....

Question..
What is the thing that on average, women do it 5 times a month and man do it 5 times a year??.......

many answer goes........ making love.. cutting toe nail, cleaning closet, shopping... etc etc......................

and..............

This morning.. a lovely lady called......... n she said..." CRYING?".....

BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!! CRYING??!! So SIMPLE n yet this answer never cross my mind???...........

And i start thinking....... perhaps i am always surrounded by man who cry often............... ahhahahaa......... adui.............. ! May be i should widen up my male friends to more macho type huh??? kekekee.....

:D

up swing..

...... 20%.. recharge....
.... low batt.........
...... 20% recharge...
...low batt...... :~

:D a simple smile............. >>> 70% charged..lasted for 2 days........... goshhh..........

:~

very down lately..

Hope can faster over come............

:(

Reader Digest Subscription

mm, received letters from Citibank, asking me to participate in the RM200,000 competition.. hahaa.. and subscribe to RM148, 12 months copy of Reader Digest + 1 free copy.. + 1 watch and 1 backpack for outing... mm...

Been thinking of subscribing Reader Digest for long... and... wah.. Impulse.. i just follow the procedures tulis there... subscribe lor.. and.. ahem ahem... anticipating.. with prayer.... wah.. Dunno God want to allow me to win the Rm200K or not... wahahahaha....................... :D

Checking my accounts... adui....... my savings seems stagnant for long... monthly spending exceeds 3K ... somemore extra itu insuranse coming... also Nepal trip...... wah wah wah....... !!

Always i am having a budget of 1.8K monthly... ahem............. Guess, it's time for me to clear things up again?... Cut down other expenses like clothing?? mm.. Let's see how this month goes......... must start praying that God will guide me in spending wisely... ya...... :D

Sept upcoming big debt:
credit card ~3K
if only my expenses =1.8K.. wah.. still i gotta have 4.8K ler..... amboiii......

Nepal masih hutang 2K... amboiiiii..........

Start thinking... weekend, i must cook porridge with fried eggs already.... kekekee.....

And pray hard for the 200K thing... !! ahhaa... so, u all pray pray for me ah...... kekekekeke......

Hot Hot Hot

with the many days of late night working..wah..Today, i am just completely worn out a bit........... hahahaa........... Tired.!.. grrrrrrrrrrrrr.......

Impatient!!!!......

GRRRRRRRRRRRrr............

No time to deal with aunty uncle...... ahhaa..

NAVY Style

ha.. navy friends sekalian...

wah.. i think i memang ah..inheritate the navy's style... in work...

Scolding my ma chai sekalian...
Y..? Y like this?/ Can you use your brain or not??
What??!! You dunno?? How long have you been working here??
grrrrrrrrrrrr.............

Some kept me geram.. But glad.. one has grown up quite well.. :D
1 still.. hahaa.. need more scolding..........
lagi satu..............adui........i pun dah nak pengsannnnnnnnn............. hahahahahaa..............

So my voices been like BOMB lately........ here and there.. i am shouting.........
amboiiii.......... A mother's heart... just want her children to be good..... right? ..

wahahhaa... Mother??/ oh...

Company Team building

So, Here's our company Team building photos.....

Wah..Niam's camera shots are simply awesomeeeee!!
And my panasonic FX9........ hahaha... how to compete with SLR...

Gonna ve a georgetown visit at 31 August ... yeah.. :D

photo that i snapped with Niam's camera..

our group photo.. keke

my ultimate team n opponents...

cantik nya.......

making bulatan....

ha..too much of photos........ enough la..

:D

Just to record down today.......
or should say yesterday...

;) some new info i knew...
but yet, it seems not really matter anymore?..

Let's see.......

What is behind all these?

Lately..been hearing many friends..kejap accident, kejap admitted hospital, kejap sakit, kejap wife pregnant, late delivery....... kejap relationship problem.. kejap husband run away with another women, kejap husband don't perduli her, kejap girlfriend separate with bf due to 3rd party, kejap the world bombing increase.. kejap the airport kena bomb.... seems like the world's problems are getting more and more........

mm.. i started to wonder.. What is behind all these? .. What is it that God is trying to tell us? bible said, everything happened, there's a good reason behind it, isn't it?....

Peseverance is hard... especially when you are in waiting stage.... with the surroundings full of sorrows and needs....... ah!..

Jeremiah33:3 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'

Prayer today:....
Father.. there are many needs around us... Help us..deliver us.......... I pray for blessings for all........... Help us... as we cried out to you...... Protects us from harm and danger.. indeed, it breaks your heart when the world you ve created, seems to mess up right now... but Lord, we know that you are STILL in control.... Have mercy on us, Lord. AMEN......

Passion in Work

mm, been wondering, Where is my passion of working as an engineer?

Passion.. When you have passion on something, you are going to do your very best in it.. you are going to sacrifice all because you want to do something, you are going to leave all behind and make time for it....... Passion.......

n here i am.. sometimes, dragging myself to work.... mm.. not knowing the direction to go.. Where is my passion in working?..

2nd chance..

mm.. someone told me.. if given him 2nd chance.. He gonna appreciate the thing he once decided to let go.......

mm.. started to wonder 2nd chance..?

If you were given 2nd chance to repeat your life.. what will you do?
Anything you regret doing?
Anything you wish it never happen before?
Anything you don't want it to repeat again?

all these...... make me recalled..someone told me "The Click" is something like that..... mm.. life goes on.. time flies...... this is what i know... i thought it was early august..and next week gonna be end August, celebrating Merdeka already.... wow wow..........

Also 8 months i separated with someone already...... wah wah......

mm.. 2nd chance.. i started to wonder?.. .. Yeah. Great to know, God is in control. :)

My 1st baking..

ha.. seems very long time never update blog.. wanted to but..too tied up with Team Building...at bukit merah.. Thursday n Friday. Then Saturday was busy bringing kids out.. haha.. So, Yeah.. Sunday!.. Manage to make my 1st Oat cookies.. then 2nd.. Raisin cookies.. (actually suppose to make Spinach one..tapi.. tak tau spinach mana satu..wahahahhahaha).. then 3rd is snow ball... ha..

ehem... bought a new electric mixer from Tesco.. ~Rm34..

FInally all mixed..... Oat Cookies..

yeah.. this is the Oat Cookies.. in my NEWLY BOUGHT oven... :D

wah... become bigger..wah.. nice nice.. excited..!!

Ding.. Ding...!!!.. That's my Oven's calling me.....
Final Product..haahahh So happyyyyyy..

Compare to my recipe.. ee..ada macam, isn't it??.. but why my cookies soft soft punya...........hahahaaaa...

NEXT... Raisin punya......
everybody seems to love this the most.....

Next..... 3rd one.. SNOW Ball.... hahahaa...... Funny lorrr.. 1st time i know egg white when beat with electric mixer...so fast become fluffy..(correct spelling ke..) hahaa..
..snowball in oven....

hahaa........ looks ugly..... and then hor..everybody seems to hate this the most............

End of my baking story... kekkekeke....