Christians

Run through someone's blog......... i think this is meaningful...... :)

Christians - By Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

The child cries.....

The Child Cries:

Circles in my mind.
Mazes with dead ends.
Dead ends.
Trap doors.
Black despair.
Choking, consuming
Black despair.
Where is God?
NOWHERE

All alone
No words can soothe me.
All alone
No one can reach me.
ALL ALONE.

Turn to me O God and hear my cry.
Lift me from my slimy pit.
Do not delay.

The Fathers Reply:

My child,
I will not withhold My mercy from you.
I see you in the darkness.
I have not lost you.

I will set your feet on a rock.
I will give you a firm place to stand.
I will put a new song in your mouth.
You will sing a hymn of praise to your God.

My love and truth wil always protect you.
Shelter under the shadow of My wing.
Rest in Me.
I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU.
I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS.

back in office... heart not here

Have this feeling of fleeing away again.......
Feel like wanted to leave this country and go out...
Burden in heart...
everything........ U ever feel this way?

Check on the Bangkok Flight.. Surprise that we can actually fly from Penang to Bangkok!.. wow.. this HK trip really scared me to think of transitting...... hahaa...

October= Nepal..
Bangkok= ?
Advance Open Water Dive =?
Sipadan Island Dive =?

Seems i gotta keep more money.........
Now it's sales period................ oh noooooooooooooooo!!!!!

Night Scene

:D Love this photo.... simply awesome!

The day of waiting

... alone in the airport.. did not take photo. oo, now i know the meaning of travel alone...... kinda sien also...........

so, reach macau at 230am... zz at macau airport... hahaa......... zz with some japanese kids.. a lot of others too.....

Finally, after almost 12hours of waiting at airport.. my friend arrived!!!!!......... He was here for work.......... but who cares?... hahaa, got a company is so greattttttttttttttttt......... at least.. 1st photo start coming up!!.. keeke

let see...

Journey to HK

Finally. Decided. Fly!

So, HK, i am coming.

Pack with simple clothing.. a series of singlets that i bought at FOS the other day..orange, pink, grey.. 1 3/4pants, 2 hot pants.. hahaa... 1 jacket... and here i come. :D

Berjaya pack it all into my lovely and sweet apple green backpack.. :D Yess!

And today fly to KL, overnite at my ban chiong (diving friend) place... :D

Soar throat still yet to recover..
heart still yet to recover....
everything is still yet to discover...

But yet... Pray that this gonna be an awesome trip..for the body, soul and mind... :D

Pray for someone on the Men's retreat... Hope things gonna be fine for you. :) God bless.....

:D

......... Heart to love .......

mmm.......... :D
mmm.......... :(
mmm.......... :~
mmm.......... :))

<('@')>

What?!

Shared with a church member on my hurts with my ex last saturday....... ah.. it's almost 1/2 year and my heart sometimes still strikes down with pain...... Yupe.. i don't want to pretend to be great.. where i am broken inside... confession.... it really hurts...

Aiks... thought he move out...... But then, lately.....aiseh.. Heard he decided to move back again............ aiks aiks.......... I wonder what's going on....

I am afraid.. to even think of being his friend. For those who pat thor before, you know what is it call the emotional attachment... right?... Ah... The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.......... No matter how hard i tried to look forward to the future.... The past sometimes still penetrates through my heart... as if a knife, piercing through my heart................ bleeding........

That's y been praying hard for the HK trip.. Hope to go out and relax a bit.....

James 1:2-4... Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything............

Ya.. Joy.. Pure joy................. I must persevere...........

4 days leave for Nepal

As i was grieving for those tsunami victims.. or for my own emotion down swing....

Su Mei called. Telling me that, Nepal, (OCT 20-Oct 28).. we gotta make it one day earlier.. which is OCT 19... Means, i would need 4 days leave...

Have not got direction from HK yet...and now seems i need to pray hard for Nepal again..... Lord, fill my heart with joy........

:)

Tsunami Message?

Awaken at 10.40pm last nite..(ya..started to zz at 530pm.. cold and been very tired from the DOE training..)...

The message was about praying for Tsunami victims in indonesia....... My heart was heavy..... my emotion was down....... as i was asking God why.... I rememberred Matthew 24...... Start reading...

Those of you who read the bible... you should know Matthew 24 refers to the End Time.....


3As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately. "Tell us," they said, "when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?"

4Jesus answered: "Watch out that no one deceives you. 5For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ,[a]' and will deceive many. 6You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. 7Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. 8All these are the beginning of birth pains. ......

To continue...
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%2024&version=31

Birth Pains....... ya... You open the Star paper...you can see various of birth pains... http://archives.thestar.com.my/last7days/default.asp?date=\2006\7\18&psect=World
Natural Disaster... Flood, Tsunami...
Wars....
Bombers...
.... Suddenly i felt i am too small to help...... Yet i prayed....

Lord, what is happening? I remember the story of Job.... Many things happened without his understanding.. yet, Job said.."May the name of the Lord be praised".....

Let the name of the Lord be praised.... :)

The Hong Kong Trip

Yupe.. 2 more days and i am flying(suppose) on Friday.. Noon.....

Already book 2 hostel, one at Central District, another one at Kowloon.. :)

But here i am.. still praying for His direction, of whether to go or not...
Perhaps it's due to the soar throat that i am having?
The dizziness?
The Haze?
The Tsunami?
.... Ya..Blaming.... ha...

But ya.. God, tell me if i should go....
James 1:2-4 flash through my mind again.................

Coffee Bean Date

wah.. So this is it...
been having the desire to sit at Coffee Bean/Starbucks.. Enjoy the lovely music.. as time pass by slow/ fast.. it doesn't matter anymore.. Because you concentrate in the nicely brewed coffee/ whatever............ Due to no money( refer previous blog kenapa...).. Pending...

wah.. mana tau.... Hari ini..

"Hey, i got coffee Bean free voucher, care for a date with me to Coffee Bean?"..... wahhhhhhhhh.................. HE really knows my desire??..... wah.......... wahhh.....

So, set it next Wednesday Dinner Date.... 2 days before terbang to HK......... Anticipating........ :D

Oven

Lately.. search search the sites...
http://www.jamieoliver.com/food/

yoo.. a lot of nice food.... Yummy... Wonderful.. Gorgeous!... The heart of getting an Oven for myself is getting stronger.... Desire.. Temptation............ to buy myself an Oven... survey here and there.. Either Microwave/Oven.. mmm........ And start praying... To make a right choice...... God must be busy with me.. Kejap ini, Kejap itu.......

But i must wait first la.. Running low in money lately.... Bizzarre..... Next Friday Flying Off to Hong KOng..(Hopefully)... Then, The Nepal Mission trip.. Need to pay already.. 1.8K dulu... Then my mummy ask me to buy her a printer..... Then.. my desire to get Oven..... Get Oven already sure buy meat la, spices lar, cheese la.. etc etc for baking and masak masak lorrr...... Amboi...........

Seems Oven (though only around Rm200)... wah... Then those stuffs that i need to "Feed" my Oven...... (kononnya feeding Oven..)... Macam expensive jugak.... then somemmore the impact.... Ku nanti jagi gemuk..... wah...... think of all these... It sounds really like have to pend that idea..... Buying Oven is a disaster? hahahhaa......... Itu lor have to pray....... *Winks*....

God.. U think i mau beli Oven?... mmmm...... Pending after Nepal la......... May be that time ada answer from Prayer... yipeeee!!!!!!!!.......

Someone

haha.. U ever care so much about someone(but he/she doesn't even care..) and then one day, u find actually, surrounds you got so many others who really care about u.....? haha.. Sacastic right.... :P

Grrr.........
Then y i care so much about those ah...
grr..

Started with.."Chin Yin..".... then no reply.... then i say.."Wat?".. Then no reply... grrrrrrr.......... Temperature rise up in me....... Grrr..... Then i give a symbol >;/ then.. "Y u so marah today..."......... Grr... then.. ku angkat phone.. telephone dia... kasih marahhhhhhhhhh........... wahahahahahhaa............... (jokingly lar of course..)

But was really impatient lately......... Semalam lock myself at room.. Paint the pictures out from my heart.. ewa.. Cantik jugak... hahaa..........

Yeah Yeah.. James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy..my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.....

Sekarang got new one.. Job 1:21 Naked i came from my mother's womb, Naked i will leave, The Lord gave and the Lord taken away, May the Name of the Lord be praised... Yeah.............. Must learn from Job... Tau tak....

kekeke.......

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

So frustrated today...!!!.. geram!!!!!!!!!!!
This impatient thing really kills me!!!!!!!!!

Cakap dengan orang pun ku tak boleh tahan..
see the way others work.... like to email here and there also ku tak shiok.....
geram gilak ku............

!!!.. FRUS!!.. Utterly FRUS!!.........

GRRRRRRRR............................... Patience..Patience.........

Tonight I wanna Cry-- Keith Urban

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
Theres pictures of you and I on the walls around me the way that it was and should have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

Would it help if i turned a sad song on
"All by Myself" would sure hit me hard, now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

oOOo

Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with this pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

mmhmm mm

Passion--> Wordless

Beep Beep...... dah lah aku punya heart not stable lately... ku receive sms from him.. ya.. him.. my once beloved.. my ex... stating that he wanted to come to my house returning me the TV set of my housemate. My emotion was rampant... unstable.... and soon.. tears .... I wonder.

Watching the "Shall we dance" and "Mr n Mrs Smith".. awaiting for him.

And "Ding Dong............."...
"hi.."
"oh.."...
"U seems to really really slim down a lot.."
"oh..."..
"i have move out, no place to park here.."
"oh.."..
"you just cry?..."
"oh."
"these are your stuffs.."
"oh."
...........
..........
.........
..............
........
........
..............
"ok.. mmm... i think i'd leave..."
"oh.."
"ok.. i ll see u in church.......".
"oh......"

and...... close the door.......... broke down into tears............ what a trauma!

Lord, bless this man, because we are not in the same path anymore. You take care of him and hold him close to you. :)

Once we were in love, but now, guess God has a better plan for both of us. :)

Be Still... And know that I am God.

For the singles..

This Sunday, there will be a course in my church.. "Too Close, Too Soon".. speaking about Relationships, Boundaries of sex...

A testimonial shared by a friend.... It's wonderful, isn't it?

http://biblicalwomanhoodonline.com/courtshipstory.htm

Be blessed......

The Wonderful-- Part 4

Imagine..

Sunday morning... Everybody ups for morning breakfast.... Bacons with eggs, milks and oranges....... Tidy up, all dressed up...... Departing for Sunday Morning service........ :D

Giggling.... Joyful hearts... :D Worshipping the Lord..... Praising his awesome presence... :D

Wonderful, isn't it?

Philippians 4:4-13
4 Rejoice in the Lord always! Again I will say, Rejoice!

5 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.

6 In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.

7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things.

9 The things which you learned, received, heard, and saw in me: do these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

10 But I rejoice in the Lord greatly, that now at length you have revived your thought for me; in which you did indeed take thought, but you lacked opportunity.

11 Not that I speak in respect to lack, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content in it.

12 I know how to be humbled, and I know also how to abound. In everything and in all things I have learned the secret both to be filled and to be hungry, both to abound and to be in need.

13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

The Wonderful-- Part 3

Imagine...

On a lovely weekends, lying on a green pasture.............giggling.... running.....
The scene of..A macho 4WD parked beside....
Setting up the tents.... preparing some stuffs for BBQ... flying kites.... laughter.. joy...........

Wow~ What a magnificent family outing........

:D

Psalm 23
1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

The Wonderful-- Part 2

Imagine..

verse 1
=======
Eb Bb Cm G#
My life is brilliant.
Eb
My life is brilliant.
Bb
My love is pure.
Cm
I saw an angel.
G#
Of that I'm sure.
Eb
She smiled at me on the subway.
Bb
She was with another man.
Cm
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
G# Bb
'Cause I've got a plan.

chorus
======
G# Bb Eb
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
G# Bb Eb
You're beautiful, it's true.
G# Bb Eb (D) Cm
I saw your face in a crowded place,
G# Bb Cm
And I don't know what to do.
G# Bb Eb Bb Cm G# (Guitar Lead)
'Cause I'll never be with you.
...................

As the Guitarist plays the chords.. and I am hitting the drum...... with my kids (Ya.. it's imagination.. ok? :P )... singing/ observing his mummy and daddy... :)
What a great family.............

Wah~~... Wonderful... warm feeling.......... muaks.......

The Wonderful - Part 1

Imagine..

You bought all the stuffs, steamed/grilled/fried.. arrange nicely on a dining table, put on a romantic orange light, play Mozart Music on the background, light up the candle, and brew a coffee with cinnammon...

Sitting there, looking at each other... giggling.. enjoying the meal.. "wow~. honey.. this is an awesome meal.....".. hugsss... :D

:) Delusion of the grandeur.............

Swimming, i found it great!

Ya.. the mood is still pretty .. mm... bizzare..

Today learn to memorise this.
James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trial with many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perverance must finish its work so that you can be matured and complete, not lacking of anything.

Tried memorise and get it flow through my mind since morning.. again and again.... again and again.....

The Brazil match with France was disappointing. Caught me into deeper sorrows.. What a trauma! i wonder Y.. Brazil forsook me.. :( My Ronaldo.. irkksssS!!!........... I was stunned for 5 minutes once the time's up whistle was blown... Sitting there, blank....

Sunday was a mourning day for me... Mourn for my waiting, my impatience, my Brazil... I was ranting and raving the whole day.. irks!

Release myself through the Swatow Lane's ice kacang, fried oyster and the guiltiness hitted me............ and despite the 2 hours (ONLY) sleep the previous day, i headed to the pool and swim. Releasing the pressure again................ ahhh.......... It really felt nice! ..

Not sure when all these will be over, but, as long as i swim, ha.. it gonna be alright??..... The unravelled me.......... Floating...... Precarious....

Remember James1:2-4.... consider it pure joy................. :)