The Art of Skillful Romance

From boy meets girl by Joshua Harris.

1.) Romance says, "I want it now!" Wisdom urges patience
Proverbs 19:11 A man's wisdom gives him patience.
Wisdom calls us to slow down. We can be patient because we know that God is sovereign and that He is faithful. Psalm 38:15 "I wait for you, O Lord; you will answer, O Lord my God".
Patience is an expression of trust that God can serve up an exquisite relationship. This lets us enjoy each part of our love story. We can be faithful and content right where we are--whether it's in friendship or courtship or engagement-- and not try to steal the privileges God has reserved for a later season.

2.) Romance say, "This is what I want and it's good for me." Wisdom leads us to consider what's best for the other person.
James 3:17 The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
We glorify God in our relationships when we put our needs aside and base our decisions on what serves the interests of the other person. The kinds of questions we ask when we are guided by a selfless desire to do what's best for another:

• Is starting this relationship now what's best for him?
• Will expressing all my feelings now serve her?
• Are my actions encouraging him to love God more?
• Am i communicating clearly and in a way that helps her?
• Does the way i dress encourage him to have a pure thought life?
• Will kissing her be what's best for her in the long run?

3.) Romance says, "Enjoy the fantasy." Wisdom calls us to base our emotions and perceptions in reality

Proverbs 19:2 It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way. Wisdom calls us to base feelings on accurate information, not on distortions. In the season of courtship, we have to fight the tendency to fill what's lacking in our knowledge of the other person with emotion based on fantasy. If we don't know something about him or her, we need to talk, ask probing questions, and discover who they really are--their values, their motivations, their goals. We need to move beyond typical, artificial dating activities and observe each other in real-life settings-- in families, in church life, with friends, handling pressure at work. Courtship is a time to see the good, the bad and the ugly in the one we love.

:)

Question "How do we know when it's the right time to start a courtship?"

The basic answer to the question is that you are ready to start a courtship when you can match romance with wisdom.

• Are you able to be patient?
• can you set a clear course for the relationship?
• Are your emotions based in reality?

The right time and age to start pursuing marriage will be different for each of us. But the one thing we should all have in common i waiting until romance can be guided by wisdom. Then we can experience the season of courtship at the right time and the right pace with a clear purpose and a clear head. :)