Finally, i took the courage to voice out my decision and send the email out.
Emotionally struggled.
Spiritually crushed.
Tears overflow my eyes...
But i hope, i ll be getting stronger each day.
And be able to move on with my life, a wonderful life ahead... a significant life to live.
:)
Monday, March 26, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
Commitment and Compatibilities- CD6- Last
How to tell if you are ready for a relationship?
As long as you are not emotional ready, even you are with the right person, at the right time at the right place, you ll never feel that you are ready.
Ask yourself a few questions:
1.) Am I still in love with the ex partner?
2.) Am I still carry rage towards ex?
3.) Do I often feel spiritually dry? Emotionally empty?
4.) Do I dislike the person that I am?
5.) Do I have addiction? Sexual addition?
6.) Lonely and desperate?
7.) Do I feel no one would want to be in a relationship with me?
8.) Am I unwilling to talk to others about my feelings?
9.) Do I feel I ve very little to offer to a mate?
10.) Do you find impossible to feel anything inside…
If you answer YES to any of these questions, you are not ready for a relationship.
Some people are not looking for a mate, they are just looking for relationship. "I just want to get married.. " no fish prawn also ok.
They are time you need to be in a relationship.. and there are time you need to be alone, working on relationship with God and yourself. Do you feel that you are the apple of God's eyes?
Ephe1:6 he makes us accepted in beloved..
John 13:34.. that you love one another as I have love you..
We can never perfectly love someone unless we have perfectly experience the love that God has for us. "are you the apple of God's eye?"
Basic compatibility list
Proverb 18:13.. chemistry alone is not enough.. how stupid to decide before knowing the facts.
It is totally foolish to decide before knowing the facts.
How you resonate in 10 areas in your life?
10 areas
Your value system
1.) What is your spiritual style like?- what is my partner spiritual relationship with God? Does he enjoy the prayer and the bible? Does he love serving? Similar church doctrine? Is he full of faith?
2.)Similar speed of growth? (don't be unequally yoke). What about personal growth style? Maturity? Willingness to work on relationship.
3.) Appearance? Eating habits? Personal hygiene?
4.) Professional financial style? What about giving, budgeting, attitude towards success, is he/she a discipline person? Can he manage his life?
5.) Emotional health? Attitude towards romance and affection.
6.) Communication style? Can he accept feedback? Willingness to discuss problem?
7.) Social style?.. kind, sensitive, outgoing,…
8.) sexual style?.. attitude towards sex and morality? A right biblical view of what sex is? Past sexual experience?
9.) Background. Compatible educational background? Do you have something compatible?
10.) Hobbies and interest? Love to travel, like pets…
No relationship are 100% compatible.. but check out what is most important to you.
A truly compatible relationship will resonate at majority of the compatibility… but you will still maintain the individual.
Learning area= difference.
Learn to compliment and strengthen.
If over time, your life are pulling apart…. You will have a very difficult time living together in harmony.
How do you know if your partner is right for you?
1.) Would I want to have a child with this person?
2.) Would I want to have a child just like this person?
3.) Do I want to become more like this person?
4.) Would I be willing to spend my life with this person even if he/she doesn't change at this moment?
If you answer NO for any of this question, you are not compatible.
Don't be push by a social time clock which don't even exist.. "you must be married at certain age.."
Commitment
Every intimate relationship need 4C to make it work. If you have this 4.. you will have a happy relationship. Without commitment, there will be directionless. Your relationship will be very shallow.
1.) Commitment give your relationship purpose. To move forward.. instead of moving round and round.
2.) commitment invest you into a relationship. It is good n fun to rent a house, but at the end of spending all the energy.. all the time, the house is not yours. And you don't keep the house nice.. because it is rented. All those changes, the day you buy your own house. You take care of the house. Acts8:5-6, 12.. 26.. 39.. you see Philip everywhere.. v40.. came to cesaria.. Act 21.. Philip disappear. V8.. he got married and committed.
3.) commitment creates emotional safety. a relationship without commitment is like renting an apartment. Renting an apartment without a contract… the kind of uncertainty you have knowing that your partner is not fully commit to you. Nervous all the time.
4.) commitment creates freedom. It helps u focus on 1 person. All the while you are giving your emotional energy away. You can now let go of the power of love.
4 basic fear of commitment
1.) Fear of the future.. what if she cheat on me.. what if my gf become a hindrance to my ministry?..
2.) Fear of getting hurt.. choose your partner wisely.
3.) Fear of choosing the wrong person…
4.) Fear of turning out just like your parents.
How to be sure??
Avoid wrong type of relationship
Fatal flaws
Compatibility time bombs
Make intelligent and wise love choices.
Go for right character
Check for chemistry
Check for compatibility
If you do these things, your relationship will be the sources of joy.
4 levels of commitment
1.) Commitment to be emotionally monogamous
If your partner are unwilling to make the level 1 commitment…(what about my female best friends?..etc).. say GOODBYE. He is not worth waiting for.
2.) Commitment to work towards a partnership
You are starting to think of us, we. Openly acknowledge, you are a couple. Have a potential to be a lasting partnership, learning from one another.. etc..
3.) Commitment to get ready for marriage.
Not always quarreling.. not always fighting.. you feel quite sure you want spend the future together,. You have no desire to check out others anymore.. you feel totally in love and appreciated by your partner. If your partner resists making the commitment you need, it's up to you to end the relationship. Ask him.. "why aren't you ready".. if he says.. "I don't know.."… ask him when he think he might be ready…… what is it take to get him ready..
4.) Commitment to spend the rest of your life together.
til death do you part.
Marriage is the total commitment of the total person for a total life.
Marriage is a union.
Marriage is treating the other person with total respect and trust.
Marriage is a big magnifying glass.. it is going to amplify.. if you are so bored, your marriage is going to make it 100times worst. If you have a happy marriage, you are going to be even more happier..
Be wise................ :D
As long as you are not emotional ready, even you are with the right person, at the right time at the right place, you ll never feel that you are ready.
Ask yourself a few questions:
1.) Am I still in love with the ex partner?
2.) Am I still carry rage towards ex?
3.) Do I often feel spiritually dry? Emotionally empty?
4.) Do I dislike the person that I am?
5.) Do I have addiction? Sexual addition?
6.) Lonely and desperate?
7.) Do I feel no one would want to be in a relationship with me?
8.) Am I unwilling to talk to others about my feelings?
9.) Do I feel I ve very little to offer to a mate?
10.) Do you find impossible to feel anything inside…
If you answer YES to any of these questions, you are not ready for a relationship.
Some people are not looking for a mate, they are just looking for relationship. "I just want to get married.. " no fish prawn also ok.
They are time you need to be in a relationship.. and there are time you need to be alone, working on relationship with God and yourself. Do you feel that you are the apple of God's eyes?
Ephe1:6 he makes us accepted in beloved..
John 13:34.. that you love one another as I have love you..
We can never perfectly love someone unless we have perfectly experience the love that God has for us. "are you the apple of God's eye?"
Basic compatibility list
Proverb 18:13.. chemistry alone is not enough.. how stupid to decide before knowing the facts.
It is totally foolish to decide before knowing the facts.
How you resonate in 10 areas in your life?
10 areas
Your value system
1.) What is your spiritual style like?- what is my partner spiritual relationship with God? Does he enjoy the prayer and the bible? Does he love serving? Similar church doctrine? Is he full of faith?
2.)Similar speed of growth? (don't be unequally yoke). What about personal growth style? Maturity? Willingness to work on relationship.
3.) Appearance? Eating habits? Personal hygiene?
4.) Professional financial style? What about giving, budgeting, attitude towards success, is he/she a discipline person? Can he manage his life?
5.) Emotional health? Attitude towards romance and affection.
6.) Communication style? Can he accept feedback? Willingness to discuss problem?
7.) Social style?.. kind, sensitive, outgoing,…
8.) sexual style?.. attitude towards sex and morality? A right biblical view of what sex is? Past sexual experience?
9.) Background. Compatible educational background? Do you have something compatible?
10.) Hobbies and interest? Love to travel, like pets…
No relationship are 100% compatible.. but check out what is most important to you.
A truly compatible relationship will resonate at majority of the compatibility… but you will still maintain the individual.
Learning area= difference.
Learn to compliment and strengthen.
If over time, your life are pulling apart…. You will have a very difficult time living together in harmony.
How do you know if your partner is right for you?
1.) Would I want to have a child with this person?
2.) Would I want to have a child just like this person?
3.) Do I want to become more like this person?
4.) Would I be willing to spend my life with this person even if he/she doesn't change at this moment?
If you answer NO for any of this question, you are not compatible.
Don't be push by a social time clock which don't even exist.. "you must be married at certain age.."
Commitment
Every intimate relationship need 4C to make it work. If you have this 4.. you will have a happy relationship. Without commitment, there will be directionless. Your relationship will be very shallow.
1.) Commitment give your relationship purpose. To move forward.. instead of moving round and round.
2.) commitment invest you into a relationship. It is good n fun to rent a house, but at the end of spending all the energy.. all the time, the house is not yours. And you don't keep the house nice.. because it is rented. All those changes, the day you buy your own house. You take care of the house. Acts8:5-6, 12.. 26.. 39.. you see Philip everywhere.. v40.. came to cesaria.. Act 21.. Philip disappear. V8.. he got married and committed.
3.) commitment creates emotional safety. a relationship without commitment is like renting an apartment. Renting an apartment without a contract… the kind of uncertainty you have knowing that your partner is not fully commit to you. Nervous all the time.
4.) commitment creates freedom. It helps u focus on 1 person. All the while you are giving your emotional energy away. You can now let go of the power of love.
4 basic fear of commitment
1.) Fear of the future.. what if she cheat on me.. what if my gf become a hindrance to my ministry?..
2.) Fear of getting hurt.. choose your partner wisely.
3.) Fear of choosing the wrong person…
4.) Fear of turning out just like your parents.
How to be sure??
Avoid wrong type of relationship
Fatal flaws
Compatibility time bombs
Make intelligent and wise love choices.
Go for right character
Check for chemistry
Check for compatibility
If you do these things, your relationship will be the sources of joy.
4 levels of commitment
1.) Commitment to be emotionally monogamous
If your partner are unwilling to make the level 1 commitment…(what about my female best friends?..etc).. say GOODBYE. He is not worth waiting for.
2.) Commitment to work towards a partnership
You are starting to think of us, we. Openly acknowledge, you are a couple. Have a potential to be a lasting partnership, learning from one another.. etc..
3.) Commitment to get ready for marriage.
Not always quarreling.. not always fighting.. you feel quite sure you want spend the future together,. You have no desire to check out others anymore.. you feel totally in love and appreciated by your partner. If your partner resists making the commitment you need, it's up to you to end the relationship. Ask him.. "why aren't you ready".. if he says.. "I don't know.."… ask him when he think he might be ready…… what is it take to get him ready..
4.) Commitment to spend the rest of your life together.
til death do you part.
Marriage is the total commitment of the total person for a total life.
Marriage is a union.
Marriage is treating the other person with total respect and trust.
Marriage is a big magnifying glass.. it is going to amplify.. if you are so bored, your marriage is going to make it 100times worst. If you have a happy marriage, you are going to be even more happier..
Be wise................ :D
Compatibility Time Bomb- CD4
Compatibility Time Bomb
Fatal flaws.. etc.. is obstacles within..
Compatibility is obstacles externally..
Romeo and Juliet were deeply in love, but does true love conquer all? No!
The problem in the relationship often come over time… Problem start to surface after some time.. until the reality hits them. If you are already married, and your have this CTB.. you need to pay close attention to it.. ignoring it won't make your problem goes away.. get help.
5 Compatibility Time Bomb that can destroy a relationship easily
1.) Significant Age Different
16 years old.. 89 years old.. 63 years old age gap. How much is age different a problem? Eric 58.. Mei Ling 32.. Eric want so relax.. Mei Ling want to go karaoke.. Eric (What's wrong with wanting to stay at home with my wife?).. Mei Ling wants to go out..have fun with friends.. Eric (May be I am too old for u after all.. ).. 26 years gap between them.. having diff social needs and interests.. Eric been working hard his life..he just want to slow down and enjoy life.. neither one were wrong.. They just have incompatible need!..
Old women married young man.. wants baby… man get pressured, not financially stable.. "you sounds like my nagging mother?".. get impatient.. began to judge and resent.. and begin to doubt on the commitment the man have… are they not in love?
Are they wrong? No! they are just in different stage of life.. !
If your partner is 10 or more older than you.. it's gonna cost problem. Older will get impatient with the young one. Older one cannot respect a younger person. There's a danger that one acting like a parent.. Marriage suppose to be 2 person with equal standing. And problem of temptation gonna be very real now.This type of relationship can only work, if both really committed and compromise. It needs hard work.
2.) Different spiritual conviction.
The more extreme the difference of conviction, it's going to explode!
2 corinthians 6: 14 do not be unequally yoke together with unbeliever… how can a Christian married a non-christian.. the value are totally different! Children raising.. different family background. Mother take kids to temple.. funeral service.. years later, kids grown up.. "daddy..why are you smoking, drinking, gambling? The bible say.. etc etc..".. the kid embarrassed the daddy in front of his friends..
Same spiritual conviction as well.. even if both are Christians.. what is his/her view on prayer.. fasting..speaking in tongue..healing, miracle.. church.. cell group.. ministry..serving..tithing.. offering.. building fund.. your life is never gonna be happy if you don't serve God..
It's going to be tough.. when a catholic married a protestant.. a charismatic married a conservative.. how can 2 walk together if they are not in agreement?
3.) Different social ethnics and educational background
1 is the high social class.. another one grew up in village… 1 is the high education..another one is from primary school. My fair lady.. pretty women.. shows diff background causes problem. A very painful compatibility time bomb. A healthy relationship is base on the common things you share. Same taste, same style, etc.. too much differences will creates too much tensions. Trying to criticize your partner for the differences is only going to create more hurts. Incompatibility.. the partner cries.. and realized.. love is just not enough to compromise this.. we learn from our differences.. but if the differences are too extreme.. it will creates problem. Usually different backgrounds also causes difference value in a person.. how you view life.. how you achieve your goals.. etc..
4.) Over bearing in-laws.
Mother in law keep calling her son.. A marriage is more than 2 people.. it's 2 families and their extended families. You usually dunno much about them until you step into the family.. overbearing in-laws don't respect the boundaries of your marriage.. they ll keep calling you.. you will feel stressed out and demand a lot of energy. Over bearing in-laws simply don't let go of their kids.. to them, their children are still not married in their eyes. They don't respect you.. to them, their kids must only love them. "tell the husband of yours, to look for a better job.."… or.. "your mother say this.. etc.." .. "why can't you just get along with her?".. instead of getting support.. you feel frustrated. A man shall leave his parents and be join with his wife. If you are with someone that stick to home too much.. he just isn't ready for marriage. Trust God for a better one. Once you are married, you must clearly define the boundary with the parents.
5.) Long distance relationship
Country.. the goal of 2 person in love is to be more intimate .. the goal of 2 person in LDR.. is to see each other again. You don't see your partner in diff situation.. you dunno about their character. You and your partner never learn to solve problems.. when you meet, it's short time and you just trying to spend time on good thing. Unrealistic picture.
:D Enjoy Reading!!!
Fatal flaws.. etc.. is obstacles within..
Compatibility is obstacles externally..
Romeo and Juliet were deeply in love, but does true love conquer all? No!
The problem in the relationship often come over time… Problem start to surface after some time.. until the reality hits them. If you are already married, and your have this CTB.. you need to pay close attention to it.. ignoring it won't make your problem goes away.. get help.
5 Compatibility Time Bomb that can destroy a relationship easily
1.) Significant Age Different
16 years old.. 89 years old.. 63 years old age gap. How much is age different a problem? Eric 58.. Mei Ling 32.. Eric want so relax.. Mei Ling want to go karaoke.. Eric (What's wrong with wanting to stay at home with my wife?).. Mei Ling wants to go out..have fun with friends.. Eric (May be I am too old for u after all.. ).. 26 years gap between them.. having diff social needs and interests.. Eric been working hard his life..he just want to slow down and enjoy life.. neither one were wrong.. They just have incompatible need!..
Old women married young man.. wants baby… man get pressured, not financially stable.. "you sounds like my nagging mother?".. get impatient.. began to judge and resent.. and begin to doubt on the commitment the man have… are they not in love?
Are they wrong? No! they are just in different stage of life.. !
If your partner is 10 or more older than you.. it's gonna cost problem. Older will get impatient with the young one. Older one cannot respect a younger person. There's a danger that one acting like a parent.. Marriage suppose to be 2 person with equal standing. And problem of temptation gonna be very real now.This type of relationship can only work, if both really committed and compromise. It needs hard work.
2.) Different spiritual conviction.
The more extreme the difference of conviction, it's going to explode!
2 corinthians 6: 14 do not be unequally yoke together with unbeliever… how can a Christian married a non-christian.. the value are totally different! Children raising.. different family background. Mother take kids to temple.. funeral service.. years later, kids grown up.. "daddy..why are you smoking, drinking, gambling? The bible say.. etc etc..".. the kid embarrassed the daddy in front of his friends..
Same spiritual conviction as well.. even if both are Christians.. what is his/her view on prayer.. fasting..speaking in tongue..healing, miracle.. church.. cell group.. ministry..serving..tithing.. offering.. building fund.. your life is never gonna be happy if you don't serve God..
It's going to be tough.. when a catholic married a protestant.. a charismatic married a conservative.. how can 2 walk together if they are not in agreement?
3.) Different social ethnics and educational background
1 is the high social class.. another one grew up in village… 1 is the high education..another one is from primary school. My fair lady.. pretty women.. shows diff background causes problem. A very painful compatibility time bomb. A healthy relationship is base on the common things you share. Same taste, same style, etc.. too much differences will creates too much tensions. Trying to criticize your partner for the differences is only going to create more hurts. Incompatibility.. the partner cries.. and realized.. love is just not enough to compromise this.. we learn from our differences.. but if the differences are too extreme.. it will creates problem. Usually different backgrounds also causes difference value in a person.. how you view life.. how you achieve your goals.. etc..
4.) Over bearing in-laws.
Mother in law keep calling her son.. A marriage is more than 2 people.. it's 2 families and their extended families. You usually dunno much about them until you step into the family.. overbearing in-laws don't respect the boundaries of your marriage.. they ll keep calling you.. you will feel stressed out and demand a lot of energy. Over bearing in-laws simply don't let go of their kids.. to them, their children are still not married in their eyes. They don't respect you.. to them, their kids must only love them. "tell the husband of yours, to look for a better job.."… or.. "your mother say this.. etc.." .. "why can't you just get along with her?".. instead of getting support.. you feel frustrated. A man shall leave his parents and be join with his wife. If you are with someone that stick to home too much.. he just isn't ready for marriage. Trust God for a better one. Once you are married, you must clearly define the boundary with the parents.
5.) Long distance relationship
Country.. the goal of 2 person in love is to be more intimate .. the goal of 2 person in LDR.. is to see each other again. You don't see your partner in diff situation.. you dunno about their character. You and your partner never learn to solve problems.. when you meet, it's short time and you just trying to spend time on good thing. Unrealistic picture.
:D Enjoy Reading!!!
7 Qualities to look for in a mate-CD5
yeah~ a long one. ;) Enjoy Reading!
7 qualities to look for in a mate
What makes a relationship work..
Proverbs 18:22.. he who find a wife, find a good thing, and obtain favour from the Lord..
God place the responsibility of a spouse on our shoulder.
How to tell if your mate is right for you?
Usually, we ask, what do u like in your partner?
Fun..sporty, outgoing, noisy, quiet.. we are looking at personality traits..that's why you are in trouble.. in stead, we should look for character.
However..A murderer may be fun…A rapist may be outgoing and love traveling…
Renew the way you are thinking in your mind. The key in choosing is to look for someone with good character..not personality.
Character determined how the person treat himself, how he treat you..and in future, your children.
Character is the foundation of every healthy partnership.
You go for personality, you are taking a very big risk.. you will be badly hurt.
If relationship is the cake.. personality is only the icing..character is the substance. only kids like the icing.. not the substance.
Instead of asking how much he love you.. you should be asking.. "Can you love me?"..the capability of loving you.
If he is always angry.. he is incapable of loving you..
Cannot firm with over-bearing parents, he is incapable of loving you.
cannot commit, he is incapable of loving you... etc
Basic building blocks of good character in a person.
1.) Commitment to personal growth
This is the most important trait to see in a partner. If you can find a person like that, you are half way to a happy marriage.
One person want to talk about problem, the other don want.
One person want to improve the relationship, the other say no need... you want to improve in relationship.. the other don want..and show no interest...
check if your partner is keen to study god's word… why is that important? Because in a relationship, there will be a lot of crisis.. and you need to go back to God's book. You want a partner that willing to live by what the bible teaches about love..forgiveness, honouring one another..etc. you want someone to be committed to God, and live the lifestyle. You want someone that willing to seek for help, always learning.. not boastful, refuse to get help. This is something you have to find out in the beginning of a relationship. Once in a while, you need to seek for counsel, to be in another level. If he always feel that he is good already.. no need help.. it's going to be hard. You are looking someone that set personal goals, in order to see real change… so that you can see positive change in someone.. he is determine.. willing to change…renewing his mind.. he is praying…he is fasting..serious with the change.. you don't want somebody that you ve to constantly push him.. he needs to feel it himself.. not someone that only saying…..
2.) Emotional Openess
Sharing feelings. Your mate have feelings. He knows how to express his feelings to you. Emotional generosity. He is generous with his love.. giving freely.. not.. I ll only love you if you like this..like that….. conditional love. Someone that show his love and appreciation on a consistent basis. Why go for people that only offer a little piece of their heart? (emotional stingyness).. How long can you tolerate that?
3.) Integrity
Integrity= you are walking in the truth. You do what you say, you say what you mean, and you mean what you say. It's a consistency of your character. Your actions match up with your words. Your choices match your vision. Your behavior match what you believe. You claim you cherish your wife..and in the present of your friends.. you shame her… you said u want to go on mission for 2 years..yet, you took up scholarship to go study and be bonded for 10 years… no consistency. Honesty and trustworthy are essential. Else, you ll live on a constant fear.. "is he talking to his ex?".. "is he go out with other girls?".. "is she going to spend all my money?".. it's impossible to be relax.. so, you are looking for someone with consistency.. if he cannot be trusted in money, what makes you think that you can trust him with your life? You want a person to be honest with you..not playing games.. when your partner is consistently honest with you, you will natural trust him.
4.) Maturity and responsible
They may be fun to be with.. love you very much..but they just not yet matured… you ll end up feeling, you are adopting a child…
How to know he is matured?
a.) can he/she take care of himself?- able to earn enough money to support you.. no need to ask from parents.. know how to be tidy.. personal hygiene… our outward life is our reflection of inward life.. if he can't even take care of himself, what makes you think he can take care of you?
b.) He is responsible. Doing what u say you ll do. Not always giving excuses. Let your YES be YES..and your NO..NO.. it's action. Everybody deserve to be love, but not everybody is ready for relationship.
c.) He is respectful. 1cor30:11.. when I was a child, I spoke as a child.. when I become a man, I put away childish thing… he respect the person around him.. no not understanding of boundaries. Go to ppl house..check everything..etc.. parents talking.. they scream.say they want to go back.. when they in restaurant, they bang on the table and shout loudly.. in a service, does he walk in and out? Is he respectful to his boss, colleagues?
5.) Healthy self-esteem
Matt 22:39.. you shall love your neighbour as your self..
You gotta love yourself.. a person with low self-esteem love in order to feel good about herself. A person with high self-esteem, love because she feels good about herself.
He know who he is in Christ..
He is the head in Christ..
Does not abuse himself but take good care of himself.
The way he take care of his body.. his clothes.. his car..
He doesn't allow other to abuse him. Meekness is not the same as weakness. Meekness= controlled emotion. Somebody come and abuse you, u don't scream back.. you don't curse.. you have control of your feeling..
Weakness= you constantly let others taking advantage of you..
The more u love yourself, the less you let other to abuse you.
He take actions in his life. not by only saying.. "I ll do it..i ll do it..".. by avoiding to take action because he scared of failing.. he rather not risk it. He procrastinate.. Are you a procrastinator?
6.) Positive attitude toward life
Philip 4:4..rejoice in the Lord always..
Positive and negative.. who are you going to choose to spend your life with?
Always complain.. fear.. always finding for faults.. always negative.. they don't trust people easily..
Positive ppl.. full of faith.. I can do all things in Christ jesus..
Positive ppl creates positive relationship.
Love is positive.. it grows in a positive environment.
Last one... Not a character trait.. it's very important. It might cancel out everything.
7.) Personal chemistry
1 look and my heart melt.. just 1 look and I know I am in heaven.. (Solomon).
Attack of the hormone..
You either have it or not. You and your partner need to have some form of chemistry in order to distinguish from friendship. Don't have to be something instant… gradual attraction is usually more genuine.. you are not only attracted to the 1st look.. but you are drawn towards his/her character.
7 qualities to look for in a mate
What makes a relationship work..
Proverbs 18:22.. he who find a wife, find a good thing, and obtain favour from the Lord..
God place the responsibility of a spouse on our shoulder.
How to tell if your mate is right for you?
Usually, we ask, what do u like in your partner?
Fun..sporty, outgoing, noisy, quiet.. we are looking at personality traits..that's why you are in trouble.. in stead, we should look for character.
However..A murderer may be fun…A rapist may be outgoing and love traveling…
Renew the way you are thinking in your mind. The key in choosing is to look for someone with good character..not personality.
Character determined how the person treat himself, how he treat you..and in future, your children.
Character is the foundation of every healthy partnership.
You go for personality, you are taking a very big risk.. you will be badly hurt.
If relationship is the cake.. personality is only the icing..character is the substance. only kids like the icing.. not the substance.
Instead of asking how much he love you.. you should be asking.. "Can you love me?"..the capability of loving you.
If he is always angry.. he is incapable of loving you..
Cannot firm with over-bearing parents, he is incapable of loving you.
cannot commit, he is incapable of loving you... etc
Basic building blocks of good character in a person.
1.) Commitment to personal growth
This is the most important trait to see in a partner. If you can find a person like that, you are half way to a happy marriage.
One person want to talk about problem, the other don want.
One person want to improve the relationship, the other say no need... you want to improve in relationship.. the other don want..and show no interest...
check if your partner is keen to study god's word… why is that important? Because in a relationship, there will be a lot of crisis.. and you need to go back to God's book. You want a partner that willing to live by what the bible teaches about love..forgiveness, honouring one another..etc. you want someone to be committed to God, and live the lifestyle. You want someone that willing to seek for help, always learning.. not boastful, refuse to get help. This is something you have to find out in the beginning of a relationship. Once in a while, you need to seek for counsel, to be in another level. If he always feel that he is good already.. no need help.. it's going to be hard. You are looking someone that set personal goals, in order to see real change… so that you can see positive change in someone.. he is determine.. willing to change…renewing his mind.. he is praying…he is fasting..serious with the change.. you don't want somebody that you ve to constantly push him.. he needs to feel it himself.. not someone that only saying…..
2.) Emotional Openess
Sharing feelings. Your mate have feelings. He knows how to express his feelings to you. Emotional generosity. He is generous with his love.. giving freely.. not.. I ll only love you if you like this..like that….. conditional love. Someone that show his love and appreciation on a consistent basis. Why go for people that only offer a little piece of their heart? (emotional stingyness).. How long can you tolerate that?
3.) Integrity
Integrity= you are walking in the truth. You do what you say, you say what you mean, and you mean what you say. It's a consistency of your character. Your actions match up with your words. Your choices match your vision. Your behavior match what you believe. You claim you cherish your wife..and in the present of your friends.. you shame her… you said u want to go on mission for 2 years..yet, you took up scholarship to go study and be bonded for 10 years… no consistency. Honesty and trustworthy are essential. Else, you ll live on a constant fear.. "is he talking to his ex?".. "is he go out with other girls?".. "is she going to spend all my money?".. it's impossible to be relax.. so, you are looking for someone with consistency.. if he cannot be trusted in money, what makes you think that you can trust him with your life? You want a person to be honest with you..not playing games.. when your partner is consistently honest with you, you will natural trust him.
4.) Maturity and responsible
They may be fun to be with.. love you very much..but they just not yet matured… you ll end up feeling, you are adopting a child…
How to know he is matured?
a.) can he/she take care of himself?- able to earn enough money to support you.. no need to ask from parents.. know how to be tidy.. personal hygiene… our outward life is our reflection of inward life.. if he can't even take care of himself, what makes you think he can take care of you?
b.) He is responsible. Doing what u say you ll do. Not always giving excuses. Let your YES be YES..and your NO..NO.. it's action. Everybody deserve to be love, but not everybody is ready for relationship.
c.) He is respectful. 1cor30:11.. when I was a child, I spoke as a child.. when I become a man, I put away childish thing… he respect the person around him.. no not understanding of boundaries. Go to ppl house..check everything..etc.. parents talking.. they scream.say they want to go back.. when they in restaurant, they bang on the table and shout loudly.. in a service, does he walk in and out? Is he respectful to his boss, colleagues?
5.) Healthy self-esteem
Matt 22:39.. you shall love your neighbour as your self..
You gotta love yourself.. a person with low self-esteem love in order to feel good about herself. A person with high self-esteem, love because she feels good about herself.
He know who he is in Christ..
He is the head in Christ..
Does not abuse himself but take good care of himself.
The way he take care of his body.. his clothes.. his car..
He doesn't allow other to abuse him. Meekness is not the same as weakness. Meekness= controlled emotion. Somebody come and abuse you, u don't scream back.. you don't curse.. you have control of your feeling..
Weakness= you constantly let others taking advantage of you..
The more u love yourself, the less you let other to abuse you.
He take actions in his life. not by only saying.. "I ll do it..i ll do it..".. by avoiding to take action because he scared of failing.. he rather not risk it. He procrastinate.. Are you a procrastinator?
6.) Positive attitude toward life
Philip 4:4..rejoice in the Lord always..
Positive and negative.. who are you going to choose to spend your life with?
Always complain.. fear.. always finding for faults.. always negative.. they don't trust people easily..
Positive ppl.. full of faith.. I can do all things in Christ jesus..
Positive ppl creates positive relationship.
Love is positive.. it grows in a positive environment.
Last one... Not a character trait.. it's very important. It might cancel out everything.
7.) Personal chemistry
1 look and my heart melt.. just 1 look and I know I am in heaven.. (Solomon).
Attack of the hormone..
You either have it or not. You and your partner need to have some form of chemistry in order to distinguish from friendship. Don't have to be something instant… gradual attraction is usually more genuine.. you are not only attracted to the 1st look.. but you are drawn towards his/her character.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Law of sacrifice
Someone reminded me of the Law of sacrifice...
you can't have everything in life.....
There's a risk for everything..
But, keep cool.... ;)
Be wise in deciding........................ :D
you can't have everything in life.....
There's a risk for everything..
But, keep cool.... ;)
Be wise in deciding........................ :D
Interior Design
went to a friend's house last nite. Seems that he is pretty busy cracking ideas for his newly bought house.... where to put the sofa, how to decorate the balcony, kitchen..etc...
I always have a thought of making my house like...
different room, different colour, best is have my kids draw their own room.
living room.. nice harmony colour, apple green+ orange, wooden floor, carpet... cozy sofa......
bathroom..... mmm..... bath tub is a must..
kitchen.. hahaa... center got table.
:D
kekekekeke~
Best is can climb to the top of my house and lie there view star..........
outside got garden for my dog to run around..........
;)
I always have a thought of making my house like...
different room, different colour, best is have my kids draw their own room.
living room.. nice harmony colour, apple green+ orange, wooden floor, carpet... cozy sofa......
bathroom..... mmm..... bath tub is a must..
kitchen.. hahaa... center got table.
:D
kekekekeke~
Best is can climb to the top of my house and lie there view star..........
outside got garden for my dog to run around..........
;)
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
8 Fatal Flaws to watch out in a partner
These are the 8 fatal flaws to watch out. Human are imperfect, it's not saying having these flaws means you are not good, but it serves as some weaknesses to watch out, weaknesses that can cause trouble in a relationship.
1.) Anger
Don't go out with an angry man. It's a time bomb. It will hold your heart and hold you as hostage. You cannot truly relax. Anger= normal expressions.. be angry and do not sin.. you can get angry and upset and not sin against God.. angry and not lose your temper and not let devil take advantage of you.. the anger here is the fatal flaw.. the anger out of demonic.. cursing and swearing.. smash the door.. smash the room.. Don't start a relationship unless there's a provable change. There must be fruit of repentance.
2.) Victim consciousness
Attitude that blame others for all their problem. Genesis 3:9.. God say, where are you.. adam say I heard your voice and I am naked..and I hid myself.. Adam blame Eve… (the women that you gave me.. ).. Blame God.. v13.. women blame devil……. My parents treated me badly.. I did not get enough attention at school.. etc.. If ur partner has tendency of blaming others.. you better watch out.. because you are the next person to get blame. Ultimately, everything will be your fault. In spike of all their complains.. they ll have a hard time receiving your love.. victim enjoys suffering……… no matter how much you try to console them, they will never cheer up. In time, your sympathy to them will turn into apathy (indifference).. your thought will become like this.."don't waste your time".."she is always like this.."
A victim wants you to tell him what to do..
3.) Control freak
A control freak must make all the decision himself.. he must tell u wat to do.. we all like to have control of thing in our life.. a control freak takes 1 step further.. they want to control everything. They don't show u their emotional.. they don't show they need you.. because it shows you they are weak.. or.. he needs you too much.. get jealous..etc.. may be I not good enough.. if u love me, u ll call me.. if u love me, u ll…. Etc etc.. Control freak get hurt easily when they feel out of control…. They usually have sexual problem in marriage.. They cannot let go.. Psalm 32:4-5.. my strength evaporate .. until I finally confess my sin to u.. if u have this control freak in you.. let god help u.
4.) Sexual Immorality
Sexually immoral. Sexual addiction/obsession, ppl get addicted to sex. Don't mistake your partner's sex addiction to sexual interest in you. If they can't respect your body before you are married.. how you want them to respect you? Pornography destroy intimacy. Intimacy is a shared experience. Pornography introduce a 3rd picture.. a thought of someone else……. It is not alright. Lack of sexual integrity.. lust over women… Job 31:1 I make a covenant with my eyes not to look at lust to a women.. do u partner constantly snare at women?.. making sexual comments? Inappropriately touching other people. If your partner don't treat you since the beginning of relationship, he won;'t suddenly change. U ll not succeed in life if you don confess your sin…….
5.) Your partner has not grown up
My boyfriend constantly forget this that.. I felt like a mother.. finances like a mess.. doesn't pay his bill on time.. he says:"I just live one day of a time..".. refuse to be responsible. Force you to take the role of the parent. Financial ok? Always borrow money from others and never return? Doesn't plan ahead on money.. always spend.. expensive car, gadget.. etc.. constantly don't like jobs.. etc.. Luke 16:11 if you have not been faithful in money.. how do u expect him to take care?.. Is he dependable?.. when I became a man, I put away childish things.. be childlike and don't be childish… we don't expect a child to keep promise, learn finances.. but you are not looking to be a father/mother of your partner… you don't want to marry a kid.. you want someone who is dependable. Eventually you ll lose trust……. And end up in Anger. Is your partner grown up yet?.. is he unmotivated? Is he seems to have no direction and purpose in life?.. is he cannot make decision? I too confused.. I cannot make decision.. does your partner have significant problem and don want to face it? Everything is incremental in heaven…… they are waiting for someone to make things work for them. If this things last for years.. it's a permanent stage of immature. If you continue to be in this relationship, u ll resentful, angry, loose respect. If you are married, you ll lose your sex life.. how to have sex with a kid?..
6.) Emotional unavailable
Emotionally shut down. Why choose someone that heart's already harden.. those that cannot show emotion.. relationship= interaction between 2 people.. not 1 person trying to interact and the other person doing nothing. If your partner can't show his emotion to you.. u ll be a human can opener. You ll spend half of your life, trying to open him up. God created us to have feeling… he make us emotional.. Can your partner talk about feeling? They can't open up.
7.) Has not recover from past relationship
Carry tremendous anger and resentment over previous mate.
Ask this.."how do u feel about your ex?".. if u cannot be gracious and forgiving.. becareful.
The more anger u carry in your hard, the more u are going to carry to the next relationship.
Signs of not recover..>>
Guilty and responsible for his ex.
Always worry about his ex.
Always talking to you about ex.
Hiding your relationship with you from her?
Give yourself 1-1.5 year before getting in love again.. your heart need time to recover. Just cool off if he cannot forget his ex… emotionally fragile? Cannot trust you? Still cry on your shoulder over the past? .. don't be tempted to play the Saviour. Give them time to be heal by Lord. How can you go on a relationship like that?
8.) Emotional damage from childhood-> the most serious one!
18 years old= 95% programmed on how you response. Left 5%...
Sexual abuse/trauma. Have you been sexually molest, as a child? Saw parent having affair? Prostitution..
Physical/verbal abuse.
Parental abandonment. Divorce, death. Afraid of commitment.
Co-dependency. They are obsessed with only pleasing you.."I am sorry.. sorry sorry.." the only way they can be happy is they see u happy. This is a serious flaw. Seek God to heal.
Thoughts:
1.) Do you observe these flaws in your future partner?
2.) Are you falling into the 3 deadly myth?
3.) Are you in the 8 types of relationship that won't work?
1.) Anger
Don't go out with an angry man. It's a time bomb. It will hold your heart and hold you as hostage. You cannot truly relax. Anger= normal expressions.. be angry and do not sin.. you can get angry and upset and not sin against God.. angry and not lose your temper and not let devil take advantage of you.. the anger here is the fatal flaw.. the anger out of demonic.. cursing and swearing.. smash the door.. smash the room.. Don't start a relationship unless there's a provable change. There must be fruit of repentance.
2.) Victim consciousness
Attitude that blame others for all their problem. Genesis 3:9.. God say, where are you.. adam say I heard your voice and I am naked..and I hid myself.. Adam blame Eve… (the women that you gave me.. ).. Blame God.. v13.. women blame devil……. My parents treated me badly.. I did not get enough attention at school.. etc.. If ur partner has tendency of blaming others.. you better watch out.. because you are the next person to get blame. Ultimately, everything will be your fault. In spike of all their complains.. they ll have a hard time receiving your love.. victim enjoys suffering……… no matter how much you try to console them, they will never cheer up. In time, your sympathy to them will turn into apathy (indifference).. your thought will become like this.."don't waste your time".."she is always like this.."
A victim wants you to tell him what to do..
3.) Control freak
A control freak must make all the decision himself.. he must tell u wat to do.. we all like to have control of thing in our life.. a control freak takes 1 step further.. they want to control everything. They don't show u their emotional.. they don't show they need you.. because it shows you they are weak.. or.. he needs you too much.. get jealous..etc.. may be I not good enough.. if u love me, u ll call me.. if u love me, u ll…. Etc etc.. Control freak get hurt easily when they feel out of control…. They usually have sexual problem in marriage.. They cannot let go.. Psalm 32:4-5.. my strength evaporate .. until I finally confess my sin to u.. if u have this control freak in you.. let god help u.
4.) Sexual Immorality
Sexually immoral. Sexual addiction/obsession, ppl get addicted to sex. Don't mistake your partner's sex addiction to sexual interest in you. If they can't respect your body before you are married.. how you want them to respect you? Pornography destroy intimacy. Intimacy is a shared experience. Pornography introduce a 3rd picture.. a thought of someone else……. It is not alright. Lack of sexual integrity.. lust over women… Job 31:1 I make a covenant with my eyes not to look at lust to a women.. do u partner constantly snare at women?.. making sexual comments? Inappropriately touching other people. If your partner don't treat you since the beginning of relationship, he won;'t suddenly change. U ll not succeed in life if you don confess your sin…….
5.) Your partner has not grown up
My boyfriend constantly forget this that.. I felt like a mother.. finances like a mess.. doesn't pay his bill on time.. he says:"I just live one day of a time..".. refuse to be responsible. Force you to take the role of the parent. Financial ok? Always borrow money from others and never return? Doesn't plan ahead on money.. always spend.. expensive car, gadget.. etc.. constantly don't like jobs.. etc.. Luke 16:11 if you have not been faithful in money.. how do u expect him to take care?.. Is he dependable?.. when I became a man, I put away childish things.. be childlike and don't be childish… we don't expect a child to keep promise, learn finances.. but you are not looking to be a father/mother of your partner… you don't want to marry a kid.. you want someone who is dependable. Eventually you ll lose trust……. And end up in Anger. Is your partner grown up yet?.. is he unmotivated? Is he seems to have no direction and purpose in life?.. is he cannot make decision? I too confused.. I cannot make decision.. does your partner have significant problem and don want to face it? Everything is incremental in heaven…… they are waiting for someone to make things work for them. If this things last for years.. it's a permanent stage of immature. If you continue to be in this relationship, u ll resentful, angry, loose respect. If you are married, you ll lose your sex life.. how to have sex with a kid?..
6.) Emotional unavailable
Emotionally shut down. Why choose someone that heart's already harden.. those that cannot show emotion.. relationship= interaction between 2 people.. not 1 person trying to interact and the other person doing nothing. If your partner can't show his emotion to you.. u ll be a human can opener. You ll spend half of your life, trying to open him up. God created us to have feeling… he make us emotional.. Can your partner talk about feeling? They can't open up.
7.) Has not recover from past relationship
Carry tremendous anger and resentment over previous mate.
Ask this.."how do u feel about your ex?".. if u cannot be gracious and forgiving.. becareful.
The more anger u carry in your hard, the more u are going to carry to the next relationship.
Signs of not recover..>>
Guilty and responsible for his ex.
Always worry about his ex.
Always talking to you about ex.
Hiding your relationship with you from her?
Give yourself 1-1.5 year before getting in love again.. your heart need time to recover. Just cool off if he cannot forget his ex… emotionally fragile? Cannot trust you? Still cry on your shoulder over the past? .. don't be tempted to play the Saviour. Give them time to be heal by Lord. How can you go on a relationship like that?
8.) Emotional damage from childhood-> the most serious one!
18 years old= 95% programmed on how you response. Left 5%...
Sexual abuse/trauma. Have you been sexually molest, as a child? Saw parent having affair? Prostitution..
Physical/verbal abuse.
Parental abandonment. Divorce, death. Afraid of commitment.
Co-dependency. They are obsessed with only pleasing you.."I am sorry.. sorry sorry.." the only way they can be happy is they see u happy. This is a serious flaw. Seek God to heal.
Thoughts:
1.) Do you observe these flaws in your future partner?
2.) Are you falling into the 3 deadly myth?
3.) Are you in the 8 types of relationship that won't work?
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
:D bagus!
1.) People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY.
2.) If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; BE KIND ANYWAY.
3.) If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; SUCCEED ANYWAY.
4.) If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY.
5.) What you spend years building, someone may destroy overnight; BUILD ANYWAY.
6.) If you find serenity and happiness, others may be jealous; BE HAPPY ANYWAY.
7.) The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; DO GOOD ANYWAY.
8.) Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU HAVE GOT ANYWAY.
9.) You see, in the final analysis, it is all between you and God; IT WAS NEVER BETWEEN YOU AND THEM ANYWAY!!
Tu dia!!!!.......~~~
Live your dreams...... It's my life anyway~~ :D kekekeke~~~
:D
2.) If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; BE KIND ANYWAY.
3.) If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; SUCCEED ANYWAY.
4.) If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY.
5.) What you spend years building, someone may destroy overnight; BUILD ANYWAY.
6.) If you find serenity and happiness, others may be jealous; BE HAPPY ANYWAY.
7.) The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; DO GOOD ANYWAY.
8.) Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU HAVE GOT ANYWAY.
9.) You see, in the final analysis, it is all between you and God; IT WAS NEVER BETWEEN YOU AND THEM ANYWAY!!
Tu dia!!!!.......~~~
Live your dreams...... It's my life anyway~~ :D kekekeke~~~
:D
8 types of relationships that won't work
1.) You care more about your partner than he/she care about you.
-He/she doesn't seem to be excited about the relationship. He/she seems to be perfectly fine without you.
-A healthy relationship.. partners take turns to be the pursuer and the one being pursued. It needs a balance.
2.) You are in love with your partner's potential
-you are in love with what you hope he will become... he becomes your project.
-ask yourself this question.. "would i be willing to spend my life with him if he never change from the way he is right now? will i still in love iwth him 20years from now?"
3.) You are on a rescue mission
do you feel responsible to help your partner?
Do you afraid that when you leave.. the person's life will fall apart?You are rescue holic.
They want to be the savior. You find someone fragile.. sad.. etc.. and you try to help her.. when she feel grateful, you feel noble.
-mistake sympathy for love…. There's no need to be a savior.
The person you choose to love, must be someone that you can respect and proud with.
4.) You look up to your partner as a role model
Student fall in love with professor..
Worker fall in love with boss..
This type of relationship cannot work. It's not equal.. u ll look up all the time.. he ll look down all the time.
Usually, ppl of this kind ve low self esteem. They can't love themselves.
"you shall love ur neighbour as you love urself".. how can u love somebody if you don't love yourself?
5.) You are infatuated with your partner for external's reason
big round eyes.. he play guitar.. dancing.. if that person doesn't have that big round eye.. or the gorgeous hair.. or the great voice.. will I still in love with him?
Charm is deceitful, beauty is fleeting…….
6.) You and your partner are trench buddy
Drawn together at work for long hour.. and suddenly, you feel that you are in love..
7.) You choose a partner in order to be rebellious
ur parents emphasize discipline.. all the gf u befriend wth are total slot.
Your parents are strict.. u brought home a samseng..
If u ve a patent to choose a partner that upset the family.. beware of rebelliousness.
8.) Your partner is unavailable
He/she is available. Available= free to be in a relationship with you, alone, single, not sleeping with other, not engaged, not married…… when you get into a relationship with someone who is already in a relationship.. you are accepting left over… you deserve much much better.
-He/she doesn't seem to be excited about the relationship. He/she seems to be perfectly fine without you.
-A healthy relationship.. partners take turns to be the pursuer and the one being pursued. It needs a balance.
2.) You are in love with your partner's potential
-you are in love with what you hope he will become... he becomes your project.
-ask yourself this question.. "would i be willing to spend my life with him if he never change from the way he is right now? will i still in love iwth him 20years from now?"
3.) You are on a rescue mission
do you feel responsible to help your partner?
Do you afraid that when you leave.. the person's life will fall apart?You are rescue holic.
They want to be the savior. You find someone fragile.. sad.. etc.. and you try to help her.. when she feel grateful, you feel noble.
-mistake sympathy for love…. There's no need to be a savior.
The person you choose to love, must be someone that you can respect and proud with.
4.) You look up to your partner as a role model
Student fall in love with professor..
Worker fall in love with boss..
This type of relationship cannot work. It's not equal.. u ll look up all the time.. he ll look down all the time.
Usually, ppl of this kind ve low self esteem. They can't love themselves.
"you shall love ur neighbour as you love urself".. how can u love somebody if you don't love yourself?
5.) You are infatuated with your partner for external's reason
big round eyes.. he play guitar.. dancing.. if that person doesn't have that big round eye.. or the gorgeous hair.. or the great voice.. will I still in love with him?
Charm is deceitful, beauty is fleeting…….
6.) You and your partner are trench buddy
Drawn together at work for long hour.. and suddenly, you feel that you are in love..
7.) You choose a partner in order to be rebellious
ur parents emphasize discipline.. all the gf u befriend wth are total slot.
Your parents are strict.. u brought home a samseng..
If u ve a patent to choose a partner that upset the family.. beware of rebelliousness.
8.) Your partner is unavailable
He/she is available. Available= free to be in a relationship with you, alone, single, not sleeping with other, not engaged, not married…… when you get into a relationship with someone who is already in a relationship.. you are accepting left over… you deserve much much better.
3 deadly myth about LOVE
1.) True Romantic Love conquers all
-as long as i love my partner enough, it won't matter if she criticize..
-it won't matter if she doesn't look attractive to me..
-it won't matter if he constantly flirt with other girls..
-it won't matter if she has not get over her ex..
Often, we wish this is the truth... the power of love... But very often, it is not.
Romance in courtship is not going to make a marriage work. It needs compatibility and commitment.
2.) True Love at 1st sight
-when it happens, we just know...
-intense chemistry felt between 2 persons..
Addiction to instant infatuation is dangerous.
True Love takes time. Quite often, we are infatuate with the image.. How do they look, what do they do, how much money they have, the car they drive..etc.. Beware.
3.) Perfect partner will fulfill your every needs
True love is not demanding and taking.. it is giving and sharing.
If you feel emotionally empty before you start a relationship, the emptiness will continue.. It is an emptiness that no one can fill but God.
;)
-as long as i love my partner enough, it won't matter if she criticize..
-it won't matter if she doesn't look attractive to me..
-it won't matter if he constantly flirt with other girls..
-it won't matter if she has not get over her ex..
Often, we wish this is the truth... the power of love... But very often, it is not.
Romance in courtship is not going to make a marriage work. It needs compatibility and commitment.
2.) True Love at 1st sight
-when it happens, we just know...
-intense chemistry felt between 2 persons..
Addiction to instant infatuation is dangerous.
True Love takes time. Quite often, we are infatuate with the image.. How do they look, what do they do, how much money they have, the car they drive..etc.. Beware.
3.) Perfect partner will fulfill your every needs
True love is not demanding and taking.. it is giving and sharing.
If you feel emotionally empty before you start a relationship, the emptiness will continue.. It is an emptiness that no one can fill but God.
;)
Dreams
Do you have dreams to achieve in your life?
something that you are really passionate about........
something that you keep thinking..thinking..thinking.... running over and over in your mind..
;)
"Are you just surviving?"
or
"Are you building something great?"
Doing everything I can, by my faith, and doing the possible while allowing God to do the impossible?
:D It's a choice.
Yeah~ I hope..... I will step out and take risk soon.. :D yeah........
something that you are really passionate about........
something that you keep thinking..thinking..thinking.... running over and over in your mind..
;)
"Are you just surviving?"
or
"Are you building something great?"
Doing everything I can, by my faith, and doing the possible while allowing God to do the impossible?
:D It's a choice.
Yeah~ I hope..... I will step out and take risk soon.. :D yeah........
A puppy
having a puppy is cool~ :)
my sis's puppy..named.. "ah bee"... just so cute!!
when you go back, he will wave his tail.. cute!
when you are tired.. he is beside you.. nice!
when you want to play.. he is always there..superb!
when you want to hug hug.. he definitely there.. awesome!
when you want to show love.. buy nice things.. He surely there.. i bought him tulang for cleaning his teeth.. He just love them so much!! :D
Having a puppy is cool~
my sis's puppy..named.. "ah bee"... just so cute!!
when you go back, he will wave his tail.. cute!
when you are tired.. he is beside you.. nice!
when you want to play.. he is always there..superb!
when you want to hug hug.. he definitely there.. awesome!
when you want to show love.. buy nice things.. He surely there.. i bought him tulang for cleaning his teeth.. He just love them so much!! :D
Having a puppy is cool~
Movie
Watched
1.) Blood Diamond
-violent.. but full of meaning.
-make u appreciate your day more and stop worrying bout future. LIve in the present!
-Diamond....... lucky i don like diamod..... ahah, after watch this show, i guess.. lagi tak mau beli sudah.. geli lor...
2.) Pursuit of happyness (yeah, it's a "Y")
-teach you to appreciate having a job.
-make u realize, man without a career, they seems to felt useless.. and pressured..
-keep emotion down without expressing in workplace. Wow, will smith, geng!~ super tension and yet can smile!
- have a kid is fun! :P but big responsibility
- never let anyone tell you you cannot do something. ;)
planning to watch..
1.) Transformer..
-wow, the robot... cool!! :D
2.) SPiderman
-weird, how come got black spiderman, so need to watch.
Movie that i missed...
1.) Babel
alamak! ter miss!
2.) Music and lyrics.
err.......
1.) Blood Diamond
-violent.. but full of meaning.
-make u appreciate your day more and stop worrying bout future. LIve in the present!
-Diamond....... lucky i don like diamod..... ahah, after watch this show, i guess.. lagi tak mau beli sudah.. geli lor...
2.) Pursuit of happyness (yeah, it's a "Y")
-teach you to appreciate having a job.
-make u realize, man without a career, they seems to felt useless.. and pressured..
-keep emotion down without expressing in workplace. Wow, will smith, geng!~ super tension and yet can smile!
- have a kid is fun! :P but big responsibility
- never let anyone tell you you cannot do something. ;)
planning to watch..
1.) Transformer..
-wow, the robot... cool!! :D
2.) SPiderman
-weird, how come got black spiderman, so need to watch.
Movie that i missed...
1.) Babel
alamak! ter miss!
2.) Music and lyrics.
err.......
Thursday, March 01, 2007
10 signs that it's time to look for a new job
1.) You know you aren't performing to the best of your ability
2.) You start gravitating toward coworkers you can be disgruntled with
3.) You can't picture your future with your current employer
4.) You take inventory of your job's pros and cons.. and the cons win
5.) You look for ways to improve your current situation but you can't turn it into what you really want
6.) Your skills are lagging and your position offers no opportunities to update them
7.) You can't get enough positive reinforcement to keep your spirits up
8.) Your salary just isn't enough
9.) You want to live somewhere else
10.) Your company or work situation has changed radically since you were hired
:)
2.) You start gravitating toward coworkers you can be disgruntled with
3.) You can't picture your future with your current employer
4.) You take inventory of your job's pros and cons.. and the cons win
5.) You look for ways to improve your current situation but you can't turn it into what you really want
6.) Your skills are lagging and your position offers no opportunities to update them
7.) You can't get enough positive reinforcement to keep your spirits up
8.) Your salary just isn't enough
9.) You want to live somewhere else
10.) Your company or work situation has changed radically since you were hired
:)
Numbers 16-17
This morning woke up, have some trouble in mind that i kept thinking.. just before i got pretty upset over it, i prayed and continue my morning devotion.
On Numbers 16-17.. about Korah, Dathan and Abiram, came to Moses and wanted more... They were chosen by God to do the work at the Lord's tabernacle and to stand before the community and minister to them.. but yet, they wanted more....
13 Isn't it enough that you have brought us up out of a land flowing with milk and honey to kill us in the desert? And now you also want to lord it over us? 14 Moreover, you haven't brought us into a land flowing with milk and honey or given us an inheritance of fields and vineyards. Will you gouge out the eyes of [b] these men? No, we will not come!"
They complaint to Moses.. They now view Egypt as a place where they long to go back.. they forgot how they prayed hard last time to get out from the slavery.. and they forgot to focus on what the Lord is doing... that is.. God promised to bring them to the promised land..overflow with milk and honey...
and what happen?... They perished....
31 As soon as he finished saying all this, the ground under them split apart 32 and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them, with their households and all Korah's men and all their possessions. 33 They went down alive into the grave, with everything they owned; the earth closed over them, and they perished and were gone from the community.
Upon reading this, many times i just felt.. I ve been complaining a lot!
especially on work , relationship, desires of my heart...
why they can get this that?
why some ppl can do this that?..
why?..
and Yes, the message speaks to me.......... Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on ur own understanding. :) Because HE who has guided you out from somewhere will definitely bring you to a better place.
Israelites complaint cause them to wander in the desert for ~40years....
Beware.. Be Still.... And focus. :)
On Numbers 16-17.. about Korah, Dathan and Abiram, came to Moses and wanted more... They were chosen by God to do the work at the Lord's tabernacle and to stand before the community and minister to them.. but yet, they wanted more....
13 Isn't it enough that you have brought us up out of a land flowing with milk and honey to kill us in the desert? And now you also want to lord it over us? 14 Moreover, you haven't brought us into a land flowing with milk and honey or given us an inheritance of fields and vineyards. Will you gouge out the eyes of [b] these men? No, we will not come!"
They complaint to Moses.. They now view Egypt as a place where they long to go back.. they forgot how they prayed hard last time to get out from the slavery.. and they forgot to focus on what the Lord is doing... that is.. God promised to bring them to the promised land..overflow with milk and honey...
and what happen?... They perished....
31 As soon as he finished saying all this, the ground under them split apart 32 and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them, with their households and all Korah's men and all their possessions. 33 They went down alive into the grave, with everything they owned; the earth closed over them, and they perished and were gone from the community.
Upon reading this, many times i just felt.. I ve been complaining a lot!
especially on work , relationship, desires of my heart...
why they can get this that?
why some ppl can do this that?..
why?..
and Yes, the message speaks to me.......... Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on ur own understanding. :) Because HE who has guided you out from somewhere will definitely bring you to a better place.
Israelites complaint cause them to wander in the desert for ~40years....
Beware.. Be Still.... And focus. :)
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