Commitment and Compatibilities- CD6- Last

How to tell if you are ready for a relationship?
As long as you are not emotional ready, even you are with the right person, at the right time at the right place, you ll never feel that you are ready.

Ask yourself a few questions:
1.) Am I still in love with the ex partner?
2.) Am I still carry rage towards ex?
3.) Do I often feel spiritually dry? Emotionally empty?
4.) Do I dislike the person that I am?
5.) Do I have addiction? Sexual addition?
6.) Lonely and desperate?
7.) Do I feel no one would want to be in a relationship with me?
8.) Am I unwilling to talk to others about my feelings?
9.) Do I feel I ve very little to offer to a mate?
10.) Do you find impossible to feel anything inside…

If you answer YES to any of these questions, you are not ready for a relationship.
Some people are not looking for a mate, they are just looking for relationship. "I just want to get married.. " no fish prawn also ok.

They are time you need to be in a relationship.. and there are time you need to be alone, working on relationship with God and yourself. Do you feel that you are the apple of God's eyes?
Ephe1:6 he makes us accepted in beloved..
John 13:34.. that you love one another as I have love you..
We can never perfectly love someone unless we have perfectly experience the love that God has for us. "are you the apple of God's eye?"

Basic compatibility list
Proverb 18:13.. chemistry alone is not enough.. how stupid to decide before knowing the facts.
It is totally foolish to decide before knowing the facts.
How you resonate in 10 areas in your life?
10 areas
Your value system
1.) What is your spiritual style like?- what is my partner spiritual relationship with God? Does he enjoy the prayer and the bible? Does he love serving? Similar church doctrine? Is he full of faith?
2.)Similar speed of growth? (don't be unequally yoke). What about personal growth style? Maturity? Willingness to work on relationship.
3.) Appearance? Eating habits? Personal hygiene?
4.) Professional financial style? What about giving, budgeting, attitude towards success, is he/she a discipline person? Can he manage his life?
5.) Emotional health? Attitude towards romance and affection.
6.) Communication style? Can he accept feedback? Willingness to discuss problem?
7.) Social style?.. kind, sensitive, outgoing,…
8.) sexual style?.. attitude towards sex and morality? A right biblical view of what sex is? Past sexual experience?
9.) Background. Compatible educational background? Do you have something compatible?
10.) Hobbies and interest? Love to travel, like pets…
No relationship are 100% compatible.. but check out what is most important to you.
A truly compatible relationship will resonate at majority of the compatibility… but you will still maintain the individual.
Learning area= difference.
Learn to compliment and strengthen.
If over time, your life are pulling apart…. You will have a very difficult time living together in harmony.

How do you know if your partner is right for you?
1.) Would I want to have a child with this person?
2.) Would I want to have a child just like this person?
3.) Do I want to become more like this person?
4.) Would I be willing to spend my life with this person even if he/she doesn't change at this moment?

If you answer NO for any of this question, you are not compatible.
Don't be push by a social time clock which don't even exist.. "you must be married at certain age.."

Commitment
Every intimate relationship need 4C to make it work. If you have this 4.. you will have a happy relationship. Without commitment, there will be directionless. Your relationship will be very shallow.
1.) Commitment give your relationship purpose. To move forward.. instead of moving round and round.
2.) commitment invest you into a relationship. It is good n fun to rent a house, but at the end of spending all the energy.. all the time, the house is not yours. And you don't keep the house nice.. because it is rented. All those changes, the day you buy your own house. You take care of the house. Acts8:5-6, 12.. 26.. 39.. you see Philip everywhere.. v40.. came to cesaria.. Act 21.. Philip disappear. V8.. he got married and committed.
3.) commitment creates emotional safety. a relationship without commitment is like renting an apartment. Renting an apartment without a contract… the kind of uncertainty you have knowing that your partner is not fully commit to you. Nervous all the time.
4.) commitment creates freedom. It helps u focus on 1 person. All the while you are giving your emotional energy away. You can now let go of the power of love.

4 basic fear of commitment
1.) Fear of the future.. what if she cheat on me.. what if my gf become a hindrance to my ministry?..
2.) Fear of getting hurt.. choose your partner wisely.
3.) Fear of choosing the wrong person…
4.) Fear of turning out just like your parents.
How to be sure??
Avoid wrong type of relationship
Fatal flaws
Compatibility time bombs
Make intelligent and wise love choices.
Go for right character
Check for chemistry
Check for compatibility

If you do these things, your relationship will be the sources of joy.

4 levels of commitment
1.) Commitment to be emotionally monogamous
If your partner are unwilling to make the level 1 commitment…(what about my female best friends?..etc).. say GOODBYE. He is not worth waiting for.
2.) Commitment to work towards a partnership
You are starting to think of us, we. Openly acknowledge, you are a couple. Have a potential to be a lasting partnership, learning from one another.. etc..
3.) Commitment to get ready for marriage.
Not always quarreling.. not always fighting.. you feel quite sure you want spend the future together,. You have no desire to check out others anymore.. you feel totally in love and appreciated by your partner. If your partner resists making the commitment you need, it's up to you to end the relationship. Ask him.. "why aren't you ready".. if he says.. "I don't know.."… ask him when he think he might be ready…… what is it take to get him ready..
4.) Commitment to spend the rest of your life together.
til death do you part.
Marriage is the total commitment of the total person for a total life.
Marriage is a union.
Marriage is treating the other person with total respect and trust.

Marriage is a big magnifying glass.. it is going to amplify.. if you are so bored, your marriage is going to make it 100times worst. If you have a happy marriage, you are going to be even more happier..

Be wise................ :D