Jealousy

it's been a while i don't feel jealous. :(

But yesterday was not a good day.
for the first time, i am JEALOUS!

I am not happy over something.
I was reminded of the hurts in the past relationship.
I went out for prayer in church. I told pastor about it.

I guess it's been inside my heart a while since he told me that he is sad over me because i don't forgive him.
As far as i thought i have already forget about this matter, but i was just being reminded of this last night in church.." You sure you already forgive him?"

I cried.
I remember the feeling of jealousy almost 3 years ago...
the moment of the broken trust......
broken heart...
sleepless nights...

I hope the prayer will work its way in my heart.
I hope i will really close the chapter of me and him.
I hope the feeling of guilt, hurts, unforgiveness, will be filled by the love of God.

mmm.. :)